Thursday, June 15, 2006

It Still Hurts

Its already Friday, the pain grows more and more each day that passes. I can't think well, can't sleep well and i cant eat well. Not a day goes by that don't think of her. As each day passes, My love for her keeps growing and growing so does the pain.
I keep on cursing myself for being such a jerk. I cant forgive myself. The pain that I feel inside will never go away. It hust stays there. For four nights I keep on crying in my bed, praying, hoping and dreaming that she will come back. I keep on praying to God to pls let her come back to me. I really love her so much. I relly love herr that much. By, if you can read this. Pls. give me one last chance. Im begging you. Can we work this out and start over again? I love you so much.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The day My Life Went Crashing Down

This really started last monday, when i visited my barkada who met an accident in the hospital. I texted my bestfriend but unfortunately, i missent the message to my girlfriend. As in... That message lead her to feel confused about us. Yesterday, the greatest fear of my life which is losing her became a reality. She asked for a break up. I really cant let her go. I have waited for more than a year just to have her and all was over in just 22 days. Seriously, I have naver been more serious in a relationship before her. I have already built my life, hopes, dreams and aspirations around her. My world literally collapsed. I dont know what to do in my life anymore. To tell you honestly, before she came to my life, I was praying to God to pls take me, take my life for all is lost. My life is a total wreck. I even envied my barkada and bandmate who just recently died because he has no more worries. Then she came, my life was renewed, I began praying to God to help me change my wrecked life in order to be a good husband to this girl someday. Then, i began to change, I turned down all my vices, i even stopped wearing earings. I became more matured, I changed a lot for the better because of this girl. Finally, I have grown. But then it came so unexpectedly. My world turned upside down. All of my hopes and dreams, SHATTERED. I cannot forgive myself for being an idiot, a worthless piece of shit, and a total failure. Now my life is once again a wreck. All my prayers of wanting to die came rushing back again. If youll ask me if im ok, well IM NOT!!! RR is all I have, all I need and all I want to be and grow old with. She is my life. I spent the whole night until this morning with tears flowing from my eyes. I didnt sleep coz i cant sleep. I still havent eaten since last night. Im as good as dead without her. By, if you can read this. Please By, all im asking is for 1 chance. Please By............. Please forgive me..... We can work this out...... I love you so much......